After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility.
One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?"
After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?"
A blind man walked into a store with his guide dog. He navigated to the middle of the establishment and stopped. Suddenly, he grasped the dog's leash and started swinging it over his head like a lasso. The dog, still attached to the leash, was whirling above the man's head.
Distressed, the manager of the store ran over to the blind man and shrieked, "WHAT IN TARNATION ARE YOU DOING??!!??"
Calmly, the blind man stopped swinging the dog around and answered, "Oh, just having a look around."