Marriage Tip for Young Women

If your boyfriend wouldn't be willing to do this for you once you're married, he's not good enough for you.

Have I mentioned that I have the best. husband. ever?

'cuz I do.  

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Viewing Thursday, Funeral Friday

Needless to say, I won't be posting for a few days.  I'm leaving for Texas tomorrow before sunrise.  I'll see you when I get back next week.




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Rest in Peace

My aunt's suffering is over.  She passed away this morning around 10:00 a.m. (Central).

Please pray for the repose of her soul, for her husband, for her four sons (two of whom are in high school right now), her daughter-in-law and grandson, and for her mother, my grandmother.

Thank you.

Texas Update

My father arrived safely in Texas, and has been able to visit with his sister. My mother wrote about it a bit in an email:

[H]e got to talk with B***** and hold her hand. She was aware he was there and happy to have him there. She didn't talk much, it seems hard for her to find words. That is likely an affect of the Thorazine... that is powerful stuff. Mom said that she has told her several times that she sees Daddy and he is waiting for her. I believe that is really a great thing for Mom to hear. She feels comfortable that B***** will be with Dad.

"Daddy" is, of course, my grandfather, who passed away 13 years ago. I called my mom while she waited for her flight today, and she said my grandmother told my aunt that if she sees Daddy again, she should go ahead and go with him. And I can personally attest to the powerful effects of Thorazine, too.

In the meantime, Soccer Dad has again donned his Travel Man super suit, climbed into his new company car, and left for faraway lands. Not even fifteen minutes have passed since he pulled out of the driveway, and the girls and I will be playing games this afternoon to pass the rainy day together. He said that if the call comes about my aunt's passing, he'll get someone to cover his second two classes, if necessary, in order to drive us all to Texas for the funeral. At this point, we do not know what arrangements are made, if any, or when anything will happen. We're pretty much clueless. So we'll leave it up to God, and He will take care of it.

As always, I thank you for the prayers for my family. It means a lot to us all.







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... Now, and at the Hour of Our Death.

My father is flying tonight to Texas. My cousin (his sister's oldest son) called him last night and said that he did not expect his mother to make it to Sunday, when Mom and Dad were scheduled to fly out together.

Saint Joseph, patron of a good death, pray for us!

Blessed Virgin, please intercede that my father can make it in time to see his sister once again.





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Non-Official Update

My father has spoken to his brothers recently, and his older brother just finished up a visit to their sister (my aunt, who has cancer). My uncle tells us that her days seem to be few, and that she is slipping very quickly.

Please pray for her, most of all, and my grandmother, as well. (I think my grandma is still in Texas with her only daughter.) Also, please keep all the "boys" of the family - her five brothers - in your prayers, as well. My own father is traveling to Texas next week for a one-day visit with her, and my prayers for his trip are that he arrives in time. This is a very difficult time for everyone, and your prayers are not only appreciated, but the effects of them are felt, as well.

Thank you in advance.





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Another Update

I'd barely gotten one update up, and now I've got another. Please continue to pray for my aunt. Thank you.

**********************

Howdy, all.

I have mixed news to report today. When I asked B***'s oncologist, Dr. J***, how to summarize the current status he said that she was “hanging in there”.

Her fever went away for a couple of days but was back this morning. On Sunday they performed an ultrasound and cat scan, and found one blood clot in her left leg and two in her lungs. At that point she was put on medication to reduce clotting.

Dr. J*** said that the lung clots themselves can cause fever but that B**** is a prime candidate for both infection and clots because of the cancer treatment’s effect on her blood, so we can’t rule out the infection.

Her oxygen saturation has been low. They’re giving her oxygen via a plastic tube that squirts it into her nose, but they’ve had to increase the oxygen flow rate a couple of times to keep the saturation level above 90%. That could be from either clots or infection.

There is a possibility that she has a type of pneumonia that is sometimes found on people who’ve been on steroids. The only way to determine this for sure is to snake a probe down into her lungs and “wash out” a lobe, but this would be risky for someone in B***'s condition. Dr. J*** thinks the lung guys would not want to do it; he may decide to just embark on the treatment, in case it’s the cause of the problem. I think he wants to hold off on making this decision for a day or so, just to see how she’s doing tomorrow.

Mentally, she seems to be half way between sleep and being awake. This could be medication or something else. Dr. J*** doesn’t think it’s a matter of the tumor having suddenly grown, but it may be related to a recent reduction in her steroid level. To deal with this possibility, her steroid level is being increased starting today.

On the plus side, she’s been getting lots of sleep. Also, her white blood cell count is coming back, having increased from 0.8 (where it sat for a few days) to 1.2 this morning. If the problem is an infection, hopefully the increase in her immune system will work in concert with the antibiotics she’s been getting to knock it out.

That’s it for now. I will keep you posted as things develop, or even if they stay the same. Love one another.

B******




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News from Texas: A Mix

My aunt and uncle sent out updates late last week, but I was just swamped with family activities and classwork and haven't posted updates yet. I got two from Texas and one note from my uncle (my father's babiest brother), who lives in Maryland. The Maryland post came in the middle, so I'll post all three in chronological order for you.

Again, I thank you all for praying for my family. This has been really hard on everyone, and the prayers lift up my aunt and uncle and my grandmother (especially).

*************************

Howdy, all.

This will be short because I'm pretty pooped but also because the latest info can be captured in relatively few words.

We got awesome news today during our visit to MD Anderson in Houston. B****'s most recent MRI (yesterday) shows that the tumor has gotten smaller. The combination of chemo + antibodies has affected the tumor's efforts to develop blood vessels, and it looks like it's shrinking. She has had one "cycle" of the combined drugs (3 infusions, two weeks apart, administered in ******* [ed: their home town]) and will start the next cycle this coming Monday. B***** says that going in for the treatment this coming Monday will be very easy, now that we know that it's effective.

Every day is a gift from God, but today is one that calls for more celebration and thanks than usual. Miracles come in many forms, and we may be receiving one now.

Love one another.

B****, B*****, and the boys

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone,

I am B*******'s brother.

I would like to share a story with everyone from Wednesday morning.

I was traveling for work in Connecticut and went to breakfast at the Marriott hotel. After being seated I noticed four priests seated to my left, I said good morning. I then said grace and my morning prayer before opening my e-mails from the previous day. I immediately notice B****'s e-mail with an update on my sisters health. I started praying for good news. At the same time I also overheard the priests talking about examples and miracles with the power of prayer.

After this I started reading B****'s e-mail and when I got to the last line (Everyday is a gift from God, but today is one that calls for more celebration and thanks than usual. Miracles come in many forms, and we may be receiving one now.) one of the priests said "Miracles come in many ways. and prayer is the most comforting and important."


I started to get emotional and interrupt the priest breakfast and told them about my sister and the e-mail I was reading. I let them read B****'s words and they thanked me for sharing the news. they all said another prayer for my sister.


Two of the priest were visiting from the Philippines and one gave me a card with his photo on the front titled "Prayer for Healing". He asked me to keep it and I thanked him and read the card. My wife suggested I share this experience with my family. Please accept my apologizes if I have offended anyone with hitting reply to all. I just feel that everyone praying for my sisters health is family to me. I have scanned and attached the card from the priest.



Thank you all for your support and prayers for my sister, B****..

Believe in Miracles..

Sincerely,
G*********

-----------------------------------------------

Back on the roller coaster. B**** has a neutropenic fever and is in the hospital (St. **** Hospital in ********* [ed: their home town]) receiving antibiotics. She started running a slight fever late yesterday afternoon and I took her to the ER on the advice of the people at MD Anderson. The chemo has knocked her white blood cell count (and platelets) way down, so she doesn't have a strong immune system at this time. That's what the antibiotics are for, to take care of the infection (seems to be respiratory).

I will keep you all posted as time permits. Along with antiobiotics she needs rest, so I'll ask you to resist the temptation to call. Also, hold off on the flowers. The oncology ward tries to limit exposure to ??? so I think sending things for the room doesn't work too well. Let's hold off on that until she's OK and back at home, OK?

Keep those prayers coming.

Love, B****

==========================

Update from Texas

As I mentioned earlier in the week, our family needed prayers. The special intention was for (is for) my aunt and uncle in Texas. I received an "unofficial" update, which had not been passed on to the rest of the family yet (especially my grandmother), and I didn't want to post it until I knew my grandma heard the news. (While I don't think she comes by the blog much at all, it is bookmarked on her computer, so if she did click by, I didn't want her to see the news here.)

Here is the latest update from my family in Texas. Thank you for praying for them, and thank you for continuing to pray for them.

**************

Howdy, all.

We had our visit to MD Anderson this past Tuesday, as scheduled. The news on the recent MRI was not great and so we are going to change to a different therapy. The doctor reported that the tumor has grown and has crossed the midline of the brain. Previously, it had been on the right side and now it has entered the left side as well.

The doc said there was no reason to continue the Temodar/Accutane chemo protocol that we've been following for the past two months since it did not seem to have affected the tumor. He suggested following a chemo/antibody therapy that was used in one of their clinical trials (experiments) that was recently completed. He said that it showed very promising results...

As it stands now, B****** will start this therapy in the upcoming week. It's administered by infusion once every two weeks. We don't know whether it'll be done as an outpatient at the hospital or in the cancer clinic. It just depends upon what the doc learns as opposed to how things are reimbursed. He is almost positive that BC/BS will not pay for this because it's still considered "experimental". I believe the $$ lingo is that it's considered to be "off-label" use. Interestingly, today's paper reported that the antibody medicine, Avastin, was just approved by the FDA for use in breast cancer cases. It had previously been approved for use in colon and lung cancer.

After three of these once-every-two-week treatments we will have another MRI and then go back to MD Anderson so that they can determine whether it has been effective.

All in all, not tremendous news. I sometimes feel as if we were on a roller coaster, and on some days it seems that there are more lows than highs. Still, we're enjoying every day. We cherish one another's company and every moment we spend together. We are so grateful for everyone's support and prayers. We are blessed to have a healthy little grandson who seems to have invented the smile and we thank God every day that our sons K**** and C**** are surrounded by such wonderful people at St. ********* High School. There are lots of good things going on and we focus on them rather than on B******'s illness. We're just moving forward with this new treatment. We'll also be attending a healing ministry at our church in a couple of days. Healing comes in all sorts - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual - and we're asking for whatever we can receive.

Thanks for all the offers of assistance, the thoughts, and the prayers. Today is a good day, so go hug and kiss your loved ones. Make the world a better place.

Love, B*****, B*******, and the boys

********************

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New Update from Texas (With Prayer Request)

My uncle wrote to the family again with another update on my aunt. His email is below. Please keep them in your prayers as they prepare for receiving test results today.

**************************

Howdy, all.

Greetings from the ************ family. Once again, it's been a while since I've written with news on B*******'s health status. For the most part that's because there's been little to report - she has been continuing pill-based chemo at home, with few side effects. She has had little if any nausea, which has been great. She's had some itchiness and dry skin, which are side effects of one of the chemo medicines (Accutane). We take care of these with Benadryl and moisturizing lotion.

She has regained the weight she'd lost following the initial radiation/chemo phase. There is a little swelling in her left foot, and we are trying to minimize this by keeping her feet elevated whenever possible. It's usually possible, so this really amounts to almost all the time, exceptions being trips to town, etc.

We have not been back to MD Anderson since December. At that time, the doc (Dr. Y) had us set up an appointment two months in the future. He also began backing off the level of steroids (Decadron) that had been prescribed for her. I've learned that steroids have all sorts of strange side effects, one of which is development of a round face. B******* went from having a thin face to having a very round one, which didn't please her. The doc has dropped her steroid level twice since that visit. We're told going cold-turkey on steroids is a fatal mistake, so the level has gradually dropped from 8 to 6 to 4 mg/day. Change is hard to see on a daily basis because the decrease, like the increase in facial swelling, is gradual. Still, her face is slowly returning to normal.

She had an MRI performed at St. ******** Hospital on Friday. Tomorrow (Monday) we'll have her blood drawn for a number of tests the doc requested, and on Tuesday we'll leave VERY early for a 0900 AM appointment with him at MD Anderson.

So, how are things going with her, now that all these details have been recorded? I really don't know. She generally feels OK, although she's usually tired. I am anxious about the Tuesday appointment. Just as it's hard to discern day-to-changes in B*****'s facial swelling, it's hard for me to say whether her illness is progressing. I try to be perpetually upbeat with her, but part of me is worried and not optimistic. I hope that's just the anxiety of the upcoming visit getting to me.

We will know more on Tuesday. And on that note, we would all (including the boys) appreciate being remembered in your prayers the next couple of days. I'm praying for healing and I'm praying in thanksgiving for all the wonderful blessings we've received. I'm also praying for the strength to continue dealing with this illness. It's hard on all of us and will continue to be tough, no matter what the doc tells us on Tuesday. We have a little “suffering” of our own to contemplate as we go through this Lenten season.

Blessings to all of you,
B***, B******, and the boys

*****************

Once again, I thank you for keeping them in your prayers.



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Another (Short) Update from Texas

My uncle writes:

Howdy, all.

B**** asked me to send out a quick note, not as a "health update" (nothing to report = good news) but as a general thank you.

Thank you for everything, for the meals, the mail order "surprises", the cards, the phone calls (even those that don't connect), the thoughts, and the prayers. On gloomy, dreary days like today it's comforting to recall how many people care and pray for her. Even though you're not physically "here", your presence is felt and appreciated.

Warmest regards,
B****, B****, and the boys






Thank you for continuing to lift them up in prayer.




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Update from Texas: Better Late Than Never

I received this update in late December, but forgot to post it immediately. I thought I'd put it up now, though. Thank you, as always, for keeping our family in your prayers. As you'll see from this note from my uncle, things are not as bleak as we thought they were in late November.

*************************************

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, all!

First, time out for some necessary detail regarding our address:

Some of our mail has arrived with an incorrect address on it (some of the numbers on the street address having been incorrect). I assume that some has not made it, too, esp. mail that hits town when our regular letter carrier is not working. The correct address is:

****************
****************
****************

Now for the purpose of this note.

Time flies. It’s been a while since I sent out an update on B******'s health situation, so here goes. It contains some early, discouraging news, some recent, encouraging news, and a miracle that we experienced in between.

First, the early, bad news. B***** had an MRI scan on the Monday before Thanksgiving. Three days later, we enjoyed Thanksgiving at our son S******’s house. Along with our boys, our daughter-in-law K******, and our grandson A******, we enjoyed the company of B******'s brother A**** who’d flown in from Arizona and her brother G****, his wife G********, and his son B***** who’d flown in from Maryland. That was a good day.

The next day, Friday, was lousy. B****** was an inpatient at the rehab facility at that time (she’d been readmitted in order to reverse a trend of weight and strength loss), and we were visited by the neurosurgeon, Dr. F, who had reviewed the results of the MRI. He gave us a very discouraging diagnosis, saying that the tumor had grown, that the illness was progressing, and that B******* had a handful of months to live. He suggested three options: doing nothing, allowing nature to take its course; looking into experimental chemotherapy protocols at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston; and performing additional, desperation surgery to buy time.

As you might imagine, we were devastated by this news. We left rehab a few days earlier than planned, since there was really no motivation to continue rehab when survival was unlikely.
We went to see the oncologist at ********* Cancer Center the following Tuesday, and then scheduled a visit to MD Anderson for the following Tuesday.

Now for some encouraging news… At MD Anderson, we saw Dr. Alfred Yung who’s head of the Brain and Spine Center. He reviewed all the scans that had been done, including the one that had been performed two weeks earlier (the one that Dr. F had evaluated prior to giving us very discouraging news), and said that he wished we had additional scans so that he could determine what was going on with the tumor. This struck me as surprising and encouraging, because I expected him to confirm Dr. F’s evaluation and give us suggestions as to “what’s next?” Instead of giving us bad news, he suggested having an MRI performed two weeks later so that he’d have two MRIs to compare, with a 4 week interval in between.

So, last week we went back to Houston for more scans - a PET scan on Monday and an MRI scan on Tuesday. After the MRI scan we again met with Dr. Yung, who said that he’d looked at the two most recent MRI scans and they were so similar that it was hard to tell them apart. We had received so much bad news over the past four months that this was unexpected so I asked him “Let me get this straight. This is good news, right?”

He agreed that it was. For my part, I realized that my hope and prayer had been answered – that Dr. Yung’s non-reaction two weeks earlier (esp. since he is the brain cancer specialist who sees this stuff all day and all week long) was correct and that Dr. F's diagnosis wasn’t. Basically, four weeks of non-spreading of the tumor just wasn’t consistent with Dr. F’s opinion.

The PET scan showed that the cancer is still present, since it was not possible for all of it to be removed during July’s surgery.

Dr. Yung presented several alternative chemotherapy treatments but clearly was encouraging us to follow an experimental approach that is more aggressive than the standard treatment. We decided to follow one that combines the earlier medicine (Temodar) with an additional one (Accutane) at a dosage and schedule that’s different from the standard approach. Because of pharmacy-related Murphy’s Law problems, B****** started the Temodar on Monday and the Accutane Thursday.

B******* is feeling fine, although she’s frequently tired. Her appetite has returned, coincident with a recovery of her sense of taste (which had been adversely affected by the radiation treatment), and as a result she has regained almost all the weight that she lost a couple or so months ago. She generally gets a good night’s sleep, too.

Now for the miracle. The Saturday following our having received the bad news from Dr. F, we decided to ignore the lousy, rainy weather and to attend Confession and then Mass at our church, St. ******. Prior to the Mass, people who arrive early recite the Rosary as a group. We were sitting at the front of the church along with B*****'s brother A*****, saying the Rosary along with everyone else, when I was struck by a sweet fragrance of flowers. I looked around to see where it had come from but just couldn’t identify a source. Perhaps 10 seconds later, I noticed the same fragrance but again I was unable to find a source. About 5 minutes later the Rosary ended and Mass began. When Mass was over we returned to the car (in the midst of a continuing downpour) and headed toward home. Less that a block from church, B****** told me that she’d had the strangest experience, in that she’d smelled roses during the recitation of the Rosary. At first, it didn’t sink in so I said “what?” When she repeated it, I was filled with such happiness that I started crying. I realized that the flowers I’d smelled were roses, and I remembered that roses have long been associated with visions and other events related to Our Lady. B****** had also looked around (as I had, independently) to see where the scent had come from, but had been unable to identify the source. Although he had been sitting right next to me, A***** later was unable to recall having smelled any flowers, roses or otherwise.
B****** and I believe that the roses were Mary’s way of letting us know that she’d heard our prayers. It wasn’t the parting of the Red Sea, but just as that miracle was “right” for that situation, so were the roses “right” for us. Things are going to be OK, one way or another, for B******* and for the rest of us. The misery resulting from hearing the terrible prognosis just the day before was replaced by a feeling of peace and love. That’s carried us through the past several weeks and will continue to be one of our supports as we deal with B******'s illness.

Thanks so much to all of you for your help, your love, and your prayers. I wish we could thank you all individually, but that’s just not feasible. Please know that we do think of you and value you among the blessings that we have received.

Take care. Love, B******, B*****, and the boys

P.S. We're really, really late at sending out Christmas cards. Don't be surprised if you get one, either late for this year or very early for next year.

****************************

Side note: Those of you who read this blog regularly will recognize that story from a previous post. Thank you, again, for your prayers.

Footnote: For information on Mary and the Rosary, see this page at Catholic Answers. They also have a wealth of information about Mary and the Saints that you can access from this page. Catholics' devotions to the Blessed Virgin are often misunderstood, but these pages can help shed light on the practice, and if you are perplexed over the subject (and the "praying to Mary" idea), I highly recommend looking at this information. Very often, non-Catholics make judgements on Catholic devotions based on faulty information; I'd recommend reading some good, Catholic teaching on the subjects to get an idea of what we believe about Mary and the Saints, though. Many misunderstandings can be cleared up this way.

A Bit More About My Aunt

(NOTE: I am leaving this post at the top for easy access.)

********************************************

I posted a very quick post the other day, and I wanted to elaborate a bit on it. I talked to my father on Friday afternoon, and he was extremely upset. He'd spoken to his youngest brother, who is visiting their sister in Texas. Uncle Gr**** said that the doctor gave my aunt only a few months to live. It was really the first concrete number I'd heard. He and the oldest son in the family were still in Texas, trying to offer support and prayers for the family.



Saturday, the second-oldest son in the family told my grandmother, who is just heartbroken.



Sunday, Mom and Dad spoke to Aunt Uncle's husband (who has been so gracious with the updates), and he told them the entire update.



They finally met with the doctor to review the MRI (details about that are here) on Friday. Nothing had changed at all, in spite of the agressive radiation and chemo. The doctor does not feel as though my aunt will live much more than three months, if that. My uncle feels that she might be able to hold on until the end of January, when their youngest son has his birthday. (I believe he'll be 16, since he was nearly two when Nathan and I were married in 1993.)



Obviously, this is not good news. My aunt's 53rd birthday is December 14th. Her first grandchild was born just recently. Her two youngest sons are both in high school. The family had just moved in the last year to be closer to my cousin and his wife.



It just seems so ... unfair in so many ways.



And yet, our family clings to it's faith. To the Faith. And I want to close this post with a note on that because I want you to know that there is still joy in this suffering.



The other day - I think just this past Saturday - my aunt and uncle were talking. He mentioned something about Heaven, and she replied that she was scared she wouldn't make it. They decided to call their pastor and meet him for Confession. They made their Confessions, and after Penances were finished, my aunt decided that she felt well enough to stay for Mass. There was still some time, so they sat near the back of the church and sat silent and praying.



Shortly, a few people came in to pray the Rosary before Mass, and so my aunt and uncle joined in. No one sat near them, but they could hear the prayers of the few people from across the church.



Suddenly, my uncle said that he smelled this incredibly strong smell of perfume. Figuring that someone was probably sitting behind them and he could just smell that, he pretty much ignored it.



Later, after Mass, my aunt asked him if he smelled the roses during the Rosary. No one was sitting near them, she said. But they both smelled it.



That small gift was such a great comfort to us. *



Please pray for our family, and please especially pray for my aunt. If you are someone who seeks the intercession of the Saints in Heaven, please ask Saint Joseph to intercede for my aunt that she has a good and happy death.



Also, I have an idea for her birthday. I'd like to send her a spiritual bouquet, and the perfect time for it is coming up. I know that an indulgence has been available in the past for fulfilling the requirements surrounding the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. If that indulgence is available again (and please let me know in the comments if it is), I'd like to know if anyone would be willing to offer their indulgence for my aunt. If you are, I can gather the intentions via my gmail account (gopsoccermom (at) gmail (dot) com) and then forward them to her for her birthday (December 14). If you participate in this, I will also forward her name to you privately, so you have a name to attach to the intentions.

For information on indulgences, please go here, here, or here. (The last link is one of a search of Catholic Answers on the topic.)

For information on the intercession of the Communion of Saints, please go here.

For information on the Immaculate Conception, please go here.

For the pope's prayer intentions for December, please go here.

And, finally, for information on what a spiritual bouquet is, please see Esther's wonderful post on the topic.






(* I wrote about my own experience with Our Lady in this way - though I didn't know it was her until very recently - in this long post about my pregnancies, my sterilization, and my reconcilliation to the Church's teachings on human sexuality. The post is very long, and the passage is very quick - and unexplained.)

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Three Months

And Dad says she'd be lucky to get that far.

One of my uncles will be going to see my Nana tomorrow.

Saint Joseph, pray for us.

Update on Aunt Uncle - Directly from Texas

No hearsay this time. Below is the most recent update on my aunt in Texas. For a reminder why I'm calling her "Aunt Uncle," please see this post.

********************

Howdy, all.

Greetings from Texas. Time flies, partly because there's so much to do. There's a little to report on the "Aunt Uncle health" scene, so here goes...

Over ~6 weeks of home stay/outpatient rehab, Aunt Uncle was not doing so well. I think it largely resulted from the effects of radiation+chemo, radiation-affected sense of taste, and "round 1" of the second phase of chemo-only treatment. Basically, her nutrition, ability to keep food down, and appetite were affected to the extent that she lost about 22 pounds [ed: this is troubling to me, as she has always been very small; she only hit 100 pounds when she became pregnant with her oldest son], and as a result quite a bit of strength. To some extent associated with this, she became depressed.

She recognized that she would have a better opportunity to reverse all this if she was able to return to "inpatient" rehab status for a while, and a week ago today she was readmitted. I think things have worked out pretty well, at least on the physical side. She still has the uncertainty of cancer to deal with, but her appetite has increased and she's getting stronger as a result of the rehab they're doing with her. She will be discharged and return home (and transition to "outpatient rehab" status again) this coming Monday.

Yesterday she had an MRI. If you've never had one of these, they're tough for people who dislike close spaces. Imagine being slid inside a culvert and then having people bang on it. She had some medication to help her relax and it worked to the extent that she was extremely relaxed for the rest of the day (i.e., wiped out). We'd expected to meet with the neurosurgeon in the afternoon, but for some reason that appointment was canceled. This really bothered Uncle Aunt, because she'd hoped to learn something about the MRI results. Now we have to wait ??? to learn whether there's any evidence of the radiation and chemo treatments on the tumor.

I think a new appointment will be scheduled today and I'll send out an update after we have that meeting. I doubt the appointment will take place for several days because of the Thanksgiving holiday.

She finished the second 5-day round of chemo last Friday, and the absence of any related nausea is encouraging. Maybe we won’t have a weight loss – weight gain cycle and we’ll be able to make more progress on building Aunt Uncle's strength.

On other fronts, Aunt Uncle's mother [ed: my Nana] returned home yesterday after having spent a couple of months helping us out. What can I say? She's welcome back, any time at all.

K***** and C***** have a home at St. ********** High School. Their attendance there is truly a blessing, one of the real bright spots in our lives. Besides making K***** and C***** at home there, and "watching out" for them as a result of Aunt Uncle's illness, people at the school are taking care of us both spiritually (lots of prayers) and physically (food). Last night, we finished some lasagna that C****’s Latin teacher had made for us (dropped off by her husband, the principal) and next week we will begin receiving meals prepared by the school’s women’s group.

R***** and S***** are fine. They surprised Aunt Uncle last night by dropping in unannounced at rehab. They’d brought A***** with them, and what doesn’t go better with babies? K**** took the opportunity to grab a little shut-eye while the boys were out. A****’s still on a short-sleep schedule, so K**** has to grab sleep when she can.

Our Thanksgiving will be made more joyous by the company of Aunt Uncle’s brother A****, her brother Gr****, and Gr****’s wife (G******) and son (Br****). They’re flying in tomorrow, and we’re looking forward to seeing them. Thanksgiving is a “holiday” at rehab, so we’ll spring Aunt Uncle early in the morning and take her to either S**** and K****’s house our to ours. We have so much to be thankful for, and high on that list is the love, support, and prayers from all of you. I know we’re in a tough period now, and your prayers and cards are even more important. We will hold each of you in our hearts and pray that God sends His love and blessings upon you and your families on Thanksgiving and every day following. Please give one another a warm hug for us, OK?

Love,
B**** and the gang

*******************************

Please continue to pray for my family, especially that my aunt is able to eat again. She has always been very small, and wasn't much more than 100 pounds. Losing 22 of them can't be a good thing at all.

Also, please renew prayers for my Nana. That trip took a huge toll on her, and the mental strain of watching her daughter suffer with this cancer and everything that is going with it has made her own health worse, as well. Now I'm more worried about her than before, as well. *sigh*

One thing that is good, I think, is that my father's family is forgetting their differences a bit, and estranged members seem to be coming back to the fold again. I know that has pained Nana, too, and it might be good for her heart to have her children around her - all six of them - at this awful time.

Thank you all, again, for the prayers.

Saint Peregrine, pray for us.

Saint Joseph, pray for us.

Saint Jude, pray for us.

Saint Rita, pray for us.

[image source]

Five to Nine Months

That's what my grandmother said my aunt is estimated to have left. Dad talked to her (Nana) earlier today and she said that my aunt is going into a nursing home to help her with therapy and such. That she only has five to nine months left.

Mind you, Dad wants to confirm this with my uncle, but it seems like perhaps we might not only ask Saint Peregrine for his prayers, but also Saint Joseph.

This is not the kind of thing anyone likes to think about. But I heard Mother Angelica say that to know your death is imminent is a gift. In that kind of situation, you can get your soul ready for death. And this is more important than anything else you will do in life.

Please pray for our family, and especially for my aunt. If she isn't to make a recovery, please pray for her to have a good death.

(oh i did not like typing that out it looks so final)

Please browse my eBay items. Thank you.

Update from Texas!!

I just got this update from my family in Texas. My Nana is visiting there right now, and I had a chance to speak to Nana and my Aunt Uncle (maybe that's what I'll call her!) on Nana's birthday (October 18). Aunt Uncle sounded very good, though she said she is rather tired a lot and her memory isn't what it used to be (chemo and radiation do that to you).

Anyway, here's the update, then I've got to boogie before the girls kill each other up there. (I changed her from B**** to Aunt Uncle, since my actual uncle, her husband, is also a B****.)

Howdy, all.

Where does the time go??? As hard as it is for me to believe, [Aunt Uncle] was discharged from rehab "inpatient" status a month ago. I apologize for not having sent out an update sooner, and this one will itself be brief because I have to pick up the boys from school soon.

She's doing "fine". She's been going to outpatient rehab three times a week, for almost 2 hrs each day. I think her general physical abilities have deteriorated slightly over the past month, probably because you have to keep working not only to get better but also to keep what you have. As a result of chaos and occasional nausea on her part (more on that below), in-house rehab has not matched what she received while she was staying at the rehab center. She/we'll have to do better on that.

Meanwhile, last week was the first week of 'phase 2' of the cancer treatment. She takes chemo for 5 consecutive days every 4 weeks, at twice the dose of her chemo during the radiation treatment. Last week went fine until Saturday, at which point the cumulative chemotreatment made her pretty sick. That carried over to Sunday, but she was finally able to keep food down around 3 PM on Sunday.

Either the radiation or chemo has affected her taste buds to the extent that many foods no longer taste good. Instead, they taste horrible. As a result of this, her food intake has been limited to some soups, yogurt, etc.

She wanted me to thank people for calling to check on her and to talk to her, but she says that she's just too pooped to keep up her end of the conversation. Between some of the antinausea meds she's taking and the physical rehab, she's usually pretty worn out.

More later. Thanks for all your prayers and for the calls, cards, etc.

Love, B****** and the gang

P.S. She LOVES spending time with A*****, our new grandson. Babies are definitely the cure for the blahs.

I can definitely relate to anti-nausea drugs making you tired. When I was on Thorazine for the HG, I was like a zombie, I was so exhausted. When I wasn't actually doing something, I was sleeping. Ugh.

Thank you for your continued prayers for my aunt and our family.

New Update on My Aunt

My uncle sent his regular update on my aunt late last week, so here it is. Thank you, as always, for remembering us in your intentions.

****************

Greetings, all.

Apologies for having taken a little longer to send out an updated health report, but what with school having started for the boys and everything else, things have been pretty busy.

Where do things stand? Well, the cancer treatment seems to be going pretty well. I don't like "not knowing" just how effective it is, but it's good that B***** has had few problems with it. She occasionally feels nauseous, and I think at least part of that comes from the chemo. It's administered in pill form, rather than intravenously, and is generally pretty easy to take but I do think it leaves her queasy once in a while. Fortunately, she can take medication to control this side effect. The doctor at the rehab facility says that the radiation causes some swelling of the brain tissue, and this probably also contributes to her feeling tired much of the time. The radiation finally caused some of her hair to come out, in areas where the irradiation was taking place. Rather than have a prominent bald spot on the top/side of her head, B***** decided to have all her hair cut off. This was an emotional thing for her and it was great that she had the assistance and support (crying together) of a dear woman who is part of the crew at the rehab center, and who herself is a cancer survivor. Now having a hair-free dome, B***** prefers to wear hats or scarves rather than opt for a wig. The guys and I think she looks good as-is, but she prefers to wear a hat when out of her room. Her friend (who held her hand through the haircut) gave B***** the pink baseball-style cap she'd worn during her own cancer treatment. Sometimes, B***** wears a USMC camo "boonie cover" that S*** gave her, but it fits a little loosely now that there's no hair between it and her skin.

Also on the cancer treatment front: B***** has 6 more radiation treatments and then she's done with that phase. They'll take place Mon-Fri of this coming week and then the final one will be Mon, 9/24. She'll continue her daily chemo regimen to that point and then it, too, will end. At that point, I understand they'll wait a couple of weeks and then begin a modified chemo treatment, at a higher dose that is administered for five consecutive days every four weeks for a year. That's about all I know for now on that front. We'll provide additional information if/when we get it.

On the rehab front, B****'s walking continues to improve. Her balance is much better and she is getting steady and confident with transfers between bed, wheelchair, walker, etc. She has a nice, tight grip with her left hand, but sometimes it doesn't like to let go. The rehab folks have some interesting procedures for working both her leg and her arm in ways that encourage her brain to resume control. It really is amazing. The other day, she flexed her toes and foot "up" while walking, which is a natural and proper way to walk. That happened "subconsciously", and shows that the wiring is there, but B***** can't yet make it happen consciously. She's also become the terror of the pool. One of the activities they use for pool therapy is to play volleyball or basketball. I think the idea is that the patient concentrates on the "game" and the patient's subconscious abilities take over and improve things like balance. However, B*****'s subconscious also includes all the moves she developed while playing with her brothers and our sons. For example, the therapists want her to stand and shoot baskets. B*****, unfortunately (?), can't do that. Every one of her shots is a jump shot. Harder to block, I assume. It is supposedly quite a sight to see one of the therapists trying to keep B***** feet on the bottom of the pool, only to be herself launched the next time B***** takes a shot.

We believe that B***** may be discharged from the rehab facility just after her radiation treatments come to an end. At that point, she'll be an outpatient, continuing to recover at home while returning to the rehab center a few times a week.

So, that gives everyone about 10 days to send those cards and pictures to her at the rehab center! Her room has been incredibly brightened by all the cards that you've sent, and by many pictures and drawings that have been included. Everyone who visits loves the view, and B***** is talking about making a collage to "capture" it for future enjoyment at home.

Don’t miss this great chance to be part of an awesome work of art! Send her a snapshot (or mug shot) of you and yours, hopefully having fun ...

(address removed by me)

Do your thoughts, prayers, cards, and your love matter? You bet they do. I am deeply touched by the love that's out there - it feels like a wave, just lifting us all up. As you pray for B***** and for us, so do we pray. Prayers of thanks, and prayers asking that God watches out for all of you, and that He fills your lives with things that count. Miracles happen. Please take a few moments to read the note below, which was recently sent to B*****. I've removed names, but the message is unchanged. Out of bad things, many wonderful things can come. Just work at it.

Love, (Uncle) B**** and the gang.

=========

Dear B*****,

You have cancer.

I don’t dare say, “I know how you feel.” With my cancer diagnosis, I wasn’t married. I had no children. And anticipating the birth of my first grandchild was the farthest thought from my mind.

For me, I had the perception if invincibility which accompanies our twenties. Immortality? Of course, I’d survive – there was never a doubt in my mind… well, maybe a few….

I wavered hearing the insensitive radiologist blurt out, "We can’t treat you… the cancer’s all through your body.” Then as slowly and as inconspicuously as I could, I walked back to my room. Alone, as dignified as possible through the corridors of Hopkins wearing PJ’s, a long, blue velour robe, and white, bootie slippers. As I neared my room, I bypassed the nurses’ station, where so many healthy, young women – my own age – sat. Never before had a single room been such a private haven. Cancer… advanced… stage 4. I locked myself in the bathroom, sat on the floor and cried.

I wavered in the aftermath of chemo. The hour-long drive home from Hopkins with my sister, Lori, as my chauffer consisted of her driving while I wretched into a bucket. Dry-heaves took over long before we ever made it to Grove Point.. Once home, I laid on the bathroom floor – next to the toilet – for the next 72 hours, dragging my head up to the toilet when the next wave of nausea occurred.

I wavered the moment I arrived at work and told my colleagues I wasn’t feeling well… something wasn’t right. Relieved, they asked me – the fashion maven – if I realized I was wearing the same clothes as the day before. Tan suit with the peplum waist, green blouse, yep, same outfit – something was wrong. I turned around and drove the hour-long drive home. By the next morning, my right arm was useless. I couldn’t get out of bed. Lori got me dressed and into the car for the drive to Hopkins. I had a stroke.

I wavered when a 24/7 antibiotic regimen replaced the chemo. Somehow, with my reduced immunity, an infection occurred around my heart. The doctors believed the heart pumped off a piece of infection which traveled my blood stream to my brain, causing the stroke. Nothing like having your skull cut open to make you waver just a bit… guess you can relate!

And sometimes I wavered under sheer exhaustion… from physical therapy, from wondering if I’d recover the use of my right side, from not being self-sufficient.

Without me knowing, my life changed dramatically the first moment the word “cancer” was spoken. It’s a legacy I’ve carried in the near quarter of a century since then. Without cancer, I wouldn’t have met and married ___. Without cancer, our son’s birth would never have been so miraculous. Without cancer, how would I have learned the depth of my inner strength? … the strength and commitment of those around me? … the outpouring of love and generosity from complete strangers? Without cancer, I never could have joked that I was cured because God simply got tired of hearing all the prayers for me! Without cancer, I would have never been forced to evaluate my life and have such a fine gauge for determining priorities: health, family, happiness, balance.

Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, wrote, “Life is a test. Life is a trust.” Beth, you are being tested… your family is being tested… your friends are being tested. And I firmly – devoutly – believe God sets nothing before us for which we lack the strength. But, life is also a trust. You’ve been entrusted with many gifts, including a loving husband (whose sense of humor will carry you through the rough spots!), four wonderful sons – and a daughter-in-law! – and now, a baby on the way! Our lives are a measure of what we do with the gifts entrusted to us, as well as a reflection of our growth as we endure the tests… And along the way, we may even get to experience a few miracles!

B*****, please find comfort in the prayers – from around the country – being said for you and your family… and let the outpouring of love and generosity surround you, amaze you, and give you strength!

Love,

(name withheld by [Uncle] B****)

More News from Texas

My uncle has sent out another update on my aunt. Thank you again and again and again for your prayers for our family.

Howdy, all! This is a long one.

Warm, September greetings from the St. ****** Rehab Center. I don’t know where August went, but apparently time flies when you’re having…

B***** is doing pretty well, in my opinion. There have been few problems with cancer treatment. Radiation has become routine and the oral chemotherapy has lead to only mild nausea that is treated with medication. She’s usually tired but that can easily be attributed to the rigors of therapy and a somewhat broken sleep pattern. Going to the bathroom is still an effort, in that she has to transfer to the wheelchair, then the commode, then the wheelchair, then back to bed, and so going to the bathroom in the middle of the night leaves her wide awake afterwards. Last night she slept straight through, which should translate to more energy today.

She had an ‘assessment’ a couple of days ago to mark her completing her fourth week here in rehab. The therapist said she’d made tremendous progress. I’ve been easing back into work and my new role as temporary mom for a week or so and as a result I’ve not been around during her therapy sessions. So, I was very surprised to learn yesterday that in her recent walking (using one of those ‘walkers’ for balance), she has not had a therapist moving her left leg. A therapist is present to monitor her technique and to make sure she doesn’t fall, but B***** is doing the walking on her own. I knew better than to bet against her walking out of here. I’m also told that therapy on her left arm is going well, and I know she enjoys and benefits from her daily hour of pool therapy. All this seems to be working for her and so we were glad to learn that she’ll be here for at least another week. As much as she would like to be home, the inpatient therapy is much more extensive than what she’d experience as an outpatient.

I was present at therapy today and I was blown away at how well she’s doing. She walked (with the walker) unaided for about 50 feet, which is incredible when you realize that it wasn’t long ago that she was having a hard time just standing. She’s also made great progress in various exercises that are done on a mat, including rolling over, kneeling up, etc. I’d not seen her during therapy in about a week and she’s accomplished so much that I’m amazed and encouraged about the prospect for further improvement.

Before I forget, I want to thank you all so much for having inundated her with cards. No matter how difficult the therapy might be, having a bunch of cards brought to her in the middle of the day is a huge boost. After she reads them, we hang them on a louvered shade on the inside of her window. She now has so many cards on that window that we have to double them up. She’s even received cards from people she doesn’t know, either former students or “prayer partners” of some of you on our list. It’s wonderful.

If I might make another request it would be for pictures. Some people have included pictures of kids, etc., and a former classmate and good friend sent a picture from graduation, something that had been saved for over 30 years. Her cousin L** sent a picture of herself, her daughter, and her granddaughter. As an aside, B***** and I had our first “date” at L**’s daughter’s Baptism, many moons ago. Talk about bringing you back.

Anyway, I have started affixing tape to the back of photos and putting them on the wall. You would be amazed at what this does to the room. Seeing all those smiling faces is a great reminder of everyone who’s pulling for B***** and saying so may prayers for her. So, I would really appreciate another round of cards, in particular one that included some “happy” snapshots of all of you. If you send B***** pictures of you all having fun it’ll be just like you’re in the room with her. Even, or maybe particularly, if she doesn’t know you.

On other fronts, B*****'s brother B****** and his wife L*** are in town for several days, helping me with running errands and also stocking our refrigerator and freezer with so much home-cooked food that the boys and I will be set for a long, long time to come. L*** even made a huge pot of chicken soup and then split it into smaller portions for freezing so that B***** will have the “cure” should she not be feeling well while on one of her occasional trips home.

We had one of those trips today, after enjoying a nice lunch at one of our favorite barbeque restaurants (*********). Tomorrow is an “off” day at the rehab center, so we’ll get a nice, early start toward home again.

The boys are all fine. S**** and K***** went to tonight’s Aggie football game and young A******, who will be born in just under four weeks, got to experience a nice night of college football. And we won, too.

R***** is fine. He spent the night watching football on TV.

K****** missed a few days of school this past week, having contracted a virus. He’s doing better now and met up with some good friends yesterday evening when his former high school, ************, came up to play ******* High. He enjoys going to St. ******’s High School and will probably start running with the cross country team on Monday. No Labor Day vacation for schools or A&M down here.

C***** is enjoying and doing well in school also. He is playing football, and last evening his team defeated Mt. Carmel (visiting from Houston), 15-0. C**** got in for just a few plays because he joined the team late in the preseason. He understands that people who were there for all the Texas summer two-a-day practices earned the right to play, but he expects his playing time to increase. He thinks he’s pretty good. Just as I don’t bet against B*****'s determination I’m not betting against C****.

There’s not much to report for me. I’ve been going back to work, bit by bit. My coworkers have been great in taking care of things and my local friends and department colleagues have been very supportive. I’ve been staying at home with the boys most nights, with occasional stays on weekend nights at the rehab center so that I can get Liz out the door earlier on “travel” days. I also got a VERY short haircut with the assistance of my barber Leonard, but B***** asked me to let it grow back. Apparently, Yul Brynner need not fear competition from my good looks. Some of the nurses here told her she should start calling me Mr. Clean. They’re all ganging up on me.

On a serious note, I want to thank you all again for your continued support and prayers. We are humbled by the love that has been shown and we are praying for all of you, too. I look at prayers as “gifts” and I hope that you receive the blessings you all deserve. I’m praying for a miracle – B****'s healing – and also for miracles in all of your lives. God takes care of us all, in ways big and small. Sometimes He acts through us, both for us and for other people, and I’m actively looking for ways to do my part.

Y’all take care. Love one another.

B***** and the gang

As always, I'll forward the link to this update, so if you would like to leave any comments for my family, go ahead and do it. :)

This Weekend's Update

I heard from my uncle again over the weekend, and I am dutifully passing on his update on my aunt. Thank you (again and again and again and again) for your prayers.

Howdy, all.

Greetings from Texas. Things continue to go well for B*****. Occupational and physical therapy are hard, but it's a "good" hard because it's time well spent. Her control of her arm continues to improve and a couple of days ago she managed to kick her physical therapist. The leg that was dormant is now becoming a dangerous weapon, it seems. She also told me that she’s wiggled her large toe, once, and that when she first wakes up she can stretch her leg and flex her ankle. As she gets tired, some of that control goes away but it’s definitely coming back.

Her therapist asked her what her goal was re. in-patient therapy and she said she wanted to walk out of the place - she doesn't want to go back home in a wheelchair. I am not betting against her. The physical therapists love it when someone has that attitude. As far as her arm is concerned, she’s pointing toward being able to hold our grandson, who should be born in just a little over a month from now.

In case I've not mentioned it, her “normal” schedule starts at 0700 for breakfast. Then Occupational Therapy runs from 0800-0900, followed by Physical Therapy from 1000-1100.

She receives a couple of chemo pills around mid-morning and then heads to the Cancer Center around 1100 for her radiation therapy. Back to the Rehab Center by noon for lunch, after which they let her rest until 2PM when she has therapy in the pool for an hour. Walking, deep knee bends, and lunges, mainly to work the legs and improve balance. Then it's back to her room for a shower and a short break until dinner at 5PM.

All this, plus occasionally being awakened in the middle of night by nurses, leaves her pretty tired in the evening. I’d thought she’d be “good” until around 9PM or so for calls, but some days she just wants to take a nap when dinner is finished. If you’ve tried to call and been unsuccessful in getting through it’s probably because she’s recharging her batteries after an active day. One thing that really puts a smile on her face is to get cards, esp. those that are sent directly to the rehab center. She’s going to be here at least through next week, so any cards you could send would brighten both her day and her room.

Her address:

*******
*******
*******
*******

As for the rest of us, we’re still enjoying the very generous gift from St. ******* Catholic School that has K***** and C***** as two of the most recent high school’ers. Classes started this past Wednesday, and along with academics the boys are diving into other activities. Football for C***** (#55 on the varsity team), and band and cross country for K*****. We’re still working out the uniform requirements and the guys are learning the ropes, day by day.

There’s not much to report for R***** and S***** [ed: oldest son, the Marine, whose wife is expecting]. They’re doing fine. K***** [ed: S*****'s wife] had a doctor visit this past week, including an ultrasound, and everything looks great on that front.

Tomorrow (Sunday) will be spent partly at home. Sunday is a “rest day” for people in rehab, and B***** likes to rest up at home. If she feels up to it, we may first go to Mass. I predict she’ll take advantage of the Church’s long-standing policy of allowing women to wear hats. I don’t know whish one it will be, but I doubt it’ll be the USMC “boonie cover” that S***** gave her. Once we get home, she’ll be the dogs’ center of attention. Once that wears off she’ll probably enjoy a nice nap or two on the couch or maybe even in her own bed. It’s still a little to warm here to spend much time sitting on the porch, so that activity will have to wait for a cold front to swing through town.

In closing, thanks so much for all your prayers and kind thoughts. It is very motivating and uplifting to know that so many people are praying for B*****'s recovery from cancer and for her continued physical rehabilitation. Some days are tougher than others and those prayers count in more ways than you can imagine. We know that God hears them. While praying for B*****, I also pray for all of you. It’s a prayer of thanks.

Take care – B***** and the gang

Again, I'll be pointing my aunt and uncle to this page, so if you'd like to leave any well-wishes for them, I'm sure they will see them and appreciate it.